Imagine this:You had stopped by the shop on your way home after a long day at work.You’d bought some lovely fresh ingredients for a new dish and cake that you had found online.You’d gone home and followed the recipes nervously, as you were making this dish and cake for the first time. But that didn’t matter because you was doing something ‘nice’.
The table was set,
The candles were lit,
The music was playing softly in the background.
Ambience set.
Dinner and dessert looked and smelt delicious.
The result?
Dinner was chucked in the bin. The cake was pushed to one side. The candles were blown out and the lights were turned back on. The music was turned off to make way for the TV. The whole effort was dismissed. It meant nothing to the person you were cooking for. Had your time and effort been taken for granted? Had you created expectations in your mind and they hadn’t materialised so that led to disappointment?
Have you ever done something ‘nice’, good or kind for other people, and your effort was, sometimes, taken for granted? No acknowledgement was made of the time and effort that you had put i n ? I have! I learned a powerful lesson about appreciation and not taking people for granted when I was growing up: I learnt that no one has to be kind if they don’t want to; its a choice to be kind. Or not be kind. It’s a choice to appreciate, or not to appreciate. It’s a choice to notice or not to notice. This awareness informed many of my own choices in life and I grew up to question, understand and live with karma.
Right here and right now, in this very moment our hearts are beating . . . go ahead, listen to yours . . . right now . . . appreciate it. Living life today allows you to not take things for granted, not take another human being for granted, not to take your heartbeat, breath, body or mind for granted, not to take a smile or tears for granted, your words, your creativity, abilities and potentiality for granted. Tomorrow isn’t guaranteed, in fact the next second isn’t even guaranteed and that’s an honest truth about life, right?
Another honest truth that might feel hurtful to realise is that you never know when the last time might be that you see someone, speak to someone, hear their laughter, or be the shoulder for them to cry on, or for their shoulder to be the
one that you cry on.Are you assuming that you’ll see them, or even assuming that you won’t?
What about the times that have passed and all that’s left is a memory that you wish things could have been better? Let it go. Let it be. The moment has passed. Forgive yourself. Seek self-compassion; you were only doing the very best that you could have in that moment.
If other people are taking you for granted, what can you do? Tell them, express yourself and request what you need from them assertively and respectfully, highlight how you feel as you have the right to say it.
Check out the tips below for some ideas on how to appreciate yourself and someone else in the moment:
Tips on how to appreciate yourself and others’ in the present moment:
1 . Get present: Notice, observe, watch, be aware of your own actions and others, in the very moment you are in . . . leave the past, and the future aside.
2. Complete the moment when you are with someone special by appreciating them, there and then; It leaves no room for regret in the future of “I should have said/done that, I could have said/done that, I would have said or done that . . . “. If some of our greatest fears as human beings are the fear or death, lack or loss, then completing as many moments as you can means that you can’t leave any space for regret.
Is there something that you want to say to someone but you’re waiting for the ‘right’ time .. it may come tomorrow, or it may not come, so live in the moment and tell them the best way that you can . . . speak from the heart and seize the moment! Tell them you miss them, care for them, love them, notice them . . .
3. Listen sincerely when you have their time . . .
4. By them some flowers or a gift they’ll appreciate
5. Smile
6. Say a simple thank you in your own special way
7. Give them huge bear hug, or just a little one! a pat on the back, a handshake . . .
8. Make the phone call,
9. Send a virtual message (I suggest cautiously!),
10. Make or send a personalised gift,
11 . Say a silent blessing (great, if you feel you can’t tell them face to face)
12 . Cook dinner, breakfast in bed, a picnic or take them somewhere special
13 . Offer a helping hand . . .
How else do you show that you appreciate the people in your life? Did you go all-out to really show someone how much you care, love and appreciate them?